I am not a writer. What you will find here may not or probably not be the most coherant or understandable. You may have to translate it from “My Speak”.
I am not an expert in all areas I write about. In some or most cases, I have an opinion. In many cases, I write open ended with a lot of questions.
I have aspergers or what they have decided to simply call HFA (High Functioning Autism) an Autism Spectrum Disorder (AS). That means I can be anti-social, not understand well and not be understood well – I just think and process different. Sometimes that leads to assumptions by me or others that are often taken for granted. Like ADD, I get overstimulated, but with me, I often just get overwhelmed and shut down. On that same realm is fixation. I can become fixated on a topic. I can change tracks, but it takes me a minute, and I often end back on the other track. Or fixated on something else. Yes, I procrastinate. Almost as if the fixation is a procrastination.
Often a distraction totally screws up my day. I don’t use written checklists, but a mental checklist, and while I don’t have them clearly listed in my mind, I do have a routine. Mess that up, and I’m messed up. If I forget one thing on my list as I leave for the day, I must go back what seems like a dozen times to the house to get back on track. Sometimes that stress follows me throughout the day.
Stress is already a huge factor. Remember the ADD? Unlike ADD, I’m not distracted changing attention. Instead, I’m overly stimulated. i.e. shut down or freak out. Thats right, it is stressful. Perhaps having ADD would be better. At least then I move on (and on and on?). Add on the stress of misunderstanding…. both by and of me, and it can be easy to freak out. Add more when a routine changes, and that already high level crosses the threshold. Not only that, but there are a few triggers that can affect it, and I tend to avoid those situations when possible.
Ok, I assume there is more. . . . Perhaps some day I’ll make it more clear. (This is a part of an old procrastination so I can get on track with my current rant) — I must forcefully Leave now or become fixated.